The Ways of the Pants Man

The morning after Pants Man moved in I was sitting nursing my morning coffee. The door flew open and he appeared in tight white pants and nothing else to cover his frame. I was in shock, but quietly reasoning that he had yet to unpack and create an order for his boxes, so perhaps he was just making do and I was being a prude.

He went to the kitchen, fetched a rag and spray and began to clean the fingerprints from his door frame, chatting about the room and the plans he had for it, none of which I heard as all the while all I could do was look away and wonder.

He cleans in his pants?

Little did I know this was not a moment of desperation, this was the heralding of his ways. Each day he appears in his white pants, strolling about the house, undisturbed my our disturbance. He sits on the stairs in those pants and waits his turn for a shower, like a little boy awaiting a bath. Quiet and always smiling. it can be unnerving after a heavy night when you near trip over him trying to get to the kettle.
Don't think for one moment that we are those that whine in quiet and say nothing. Each of us will say to him, "Can you put some clothes on please?" to which the reply, over and over, is a snigger and a smile, and an unrelenting persistence in this form of exhibitionism.

However his quirks seem to run deeper than we could ever had imagined on the day he arrived to view the house. And now the pants thing pales in comparison to his latest oddity.

Just this weekend he had a friend come to stay. We thought little of it, until the morning after when the two of them appeared, both in their pants, from his room. There was no bed on the floor, just the double that it came with. Nothing about this would be unusual if he were gay. Which he isn't. And neither are his friends.

For some reason every guest he has stay, to date, has been male, and has slept in his bed with him. I shrug a little at this myself, so many people do things differently, but my other house mates are in perpetual wonder and discussion at this choice. We have two large couches, plenty of lounge space... and yet they toddle off together.

I believe Pants Man was sent to us to entertain us, and I believe he is doing a fine job so far.